(this still needs editing, but here's a rough copy)
When greeting a Passerby:
1. Smile* and state the rough time of day it is, as if the person didn’t know already, proceeded by the undescriptive, “Good.” (ie "good morning") Upon this the stranger should repeat such greeting.
*For this approach use the "plaster smile." Lifting the cheek muscles gently, expose your teeth just enough to show you have them. If you don't have any, keep your lips closed. It should have a crescent moon shape, although it's okay if it has a boxy or line-shape, so long as it's not curved down. If you can't remember to smile, coat your teeth in something nasty tasting to make it easier.
2. If you, for some reason or another, have not yet walked passed the stranger, ask them how they are. And unless the person is at all honest or interesting, they should say "... Good."If the person has not grown completely bored of the hum-drum exchange, then they will proceed to ask you how you are. Ignore the urge to dump your life's problems on your fellow conversationalist. Remember, this is a stranger, not a psychologist. You'll both be happier thinking that the world is fine and dandy. So reply by simply stating, "...Good." If they are a talkative person they might try to explain why they are doing "good."
3. You can answer politely to their explanation by more enthusiastically stating "That's... good." Or if you happen to have a thesaurus on hand you might be creative enough to say, "That's great." And depending on what you know from our few short (yet insanely dull) moments about that stranger you can decide to abstain from further boredom or to say something.
4. If you decide to continue your torturous exchange, remember that the point that is being made to obnoxiously repeat the word "good" does actually serve a purpose. The goal in meeting someone is to be able to totally forget them 5 seconds later. You've got enough on your mind. It is therefore, vital that all random comments that come out of your mouth are simple to understand, lacking in vocabulary, and completely obvious. Comments on the weather are nice, especially if one uses the words "good, bad, cold, nice, and hot" frequently. Do not use the phrase "Do you remember...?" In fact don't ask them anything that might cause either of you to have to think. It would mar the perfect stupidity.
5. Pay attention to body cues to know when your conversation-partner has grown impatient. You both have better things to do other than flap your jaws about. Transition the greeting/conversation towards a close by saying "I really should be going." This is so the person not only knows you are bored and busy, but that you would like the conversation to end. Make them feel better about this by saying, "But it was nice to meet you." Even if this was not true in the least bit. They will probably repeat something similar to you like, "Yes I have to go too, and it was nice to meet you too." And of course, don't forget to say the final "Goodbye." This maybe be repeated multiple times until someone is actually bold enough to leave.
After studying these steps and explanations, I will give an example of the ideal conversation. Take mental note that the roles between who speaks first can be reversed.
You: "Good morning."
Them: "Good morning. How are you?"
You: "Good. How are you?"
Them: "Good. I like this nice weather."
You: "That's good. I like the nice weather too."
Them: "It's better than last week."
You: "Yes. It's good."
Them: "Spring is a nice time of year."
You: "Yes."
(continue to talk about the weather for far too long)
You: "Oh, I really should be going now."
Them: "Oh, yes."
You: "It was nice to meet you."
Them: "It was nice to meet you too"
You: "Goodbye."
Them: "Goodbye."
--Then you walk away. Don't forget this step or it could lead to awkwardness.
And if you still can't remember the numbered steps listed above, even with an example, try this acronym:
Prepare for greeting- smile before you say anything
Act sincere
Repeat: You'll do this often
Repeat: The more the better
Obvious statements
To the point- no sidetracking
Now go out and introduce yourself to the world! Just don't really say anything.
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